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MOVIE CHEAT SHEET: Apatow bashes whitewashing

Brian Gasparek says the plan to whitewash movies like Talladega Nights to make them more family friendly is a dumb idea.

Brian Gasparek says the plan to whitewash movies like Talladega Nights to make them more family friendly is a dumb idea.


Way to tell 'em, Judd

When director Judd Apatow snapped at Sony Pictures on Twitter this week over its plan to make and sell studio-edited "clean versions" of a collection of films for family viewing (including Step Brothers and Talladega Nights), he was totally on point. Despite his flurry of heavy f-bombs and his suggestion that Sony Pictures should "shove the clean versions up [their] asses," his sentiment was correct. It's completely out of line for a studio to tamper with directors' work behind their backs. It's a director's right to edit their film, their way, for every platform. That's what they're hired for. And it's ultimately up to the viewer (or viewer's parents) whether or not they want to watch said film. What is the studio thinking? To Judd's credit, after his rage-filled tweet, that matched similar (yet gentler) sentiments from the Director's Guild Of America and Seth Rogen, Sony Pictures backed down. The studio now claims that it will only edit and release "clean versions" of films with directors' consent.

Because, you know, their directors are really important to them ... Right ... Kudos on taking a stand, Judd.


Another round of X, with a side of Chastain

The gang's all back for another payday ... I mean, another sequel. Despite the dumpster fire that was X-Men: Apocalypse, the entire second generation X-Men cast of Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Nicholas Hoult, Alexandra Shipp, Sophie Turner, Tye Sheridan, Kodi Smit-McPhee ... and yes, a blue Jennifer Lawrence, have all signed on to make another sequel in the series, X-Men: Dark Phoenix. The film will be first-time directed by previous X-Men writer/producer Simon Kinberg. (Not to be confused with Simon Helberg from The Big Bang Theory, thankfully.) And the coolest part is that Jessica Chastain has been cast as the film's badass alien villain, Lilandra. I'd be lying if I told you I'm not willing to give this franchise another shot.

Where in the world is Cameron Diaz?

If you're like ... um ... literally nobody and have been wondering where Cameron Diaz has been hiding since her last film role in 2014's Annie, the answer is, she's been trying to find herself. Seriously. Diaz revealed this week that she took a hiatus from acting because she lost sight of who she is. According to Cameron, "I just went, 'I can't really say who I am to myself.'Which is a hard thing to face up to. I felt the need to make myself whole." Good for you, Cammy. Just so you know, we wouldn't be opposed to your full retirement. Consider it.

DC goes Marvel

After nearly a half decade of pumping out terrible superhero flicks that culminated with one epic gem (Wonder Woman), it sounds like the DC Extended Universe has been inspired to copy their competition. According to DC co-chairman, Geoff Johns, all upcoming DCEU flicks (including this fall's Justice League) are going to ditch their signature dark, gritty, drab vibe, and go poppy and upbeat, just like Marvel. According to Johns, their films are now going to "get to the essence of the character and make the movies fun. Just make sure that the characters are the characters with heart, humour, hope, heroics, and optimism at the base." They should probably just hire Patty Jenkins to direct them all.


Half empty: Cars 3

Visually, Cars 3 looks incredible. We knew it would, it's a Pixar flick. But unlike other recent Pixar offerings, the latest Lightning McQueen tale falls short on quality. According to critics, the film, which plays like an anthropomorphized car version of Rocky III, is predictable, slightly long-winded, and feels far heavier than expected. It isn't a terrible film, but it certainly maintains Cars status as Pixar's mediocre franchise.

Rough indeed: Rough Night

The reason Rough Night looks like a janky version of The Hangover and Bridesmaids is because that's exactly what it is. Despite a cast of solid leading ladies in Scarlett, Zoë, Kate and Jill, and a decently funny intro, critics are saying that the flick quickly deteriorates into a mess of pointless raunch, bad jokes and a stock, stupid plot. It's the latest forgettable comedy. Save the viewing for your living room this fall when you're really bored.

Eyez to yourself: All Eyez On Me

We've waited an eternity to get a legit, estate-approved, Tupac biopic that properly details the fascinating (and tragically short) life of the late, great rapper. Sadly, our wait will likely continue. Reviews for All Eyez On Me have been held back all week, and the early rumblings are that the film is a poorly scripted, badly directed mess that totally misses its mark. Beware, my fellow moviegoers.


Lithgow passed on Burton's Joker We all know that John Lithgow was up for the part of The Joker in Joe Dante's mid-'80s Batman flick that never was. But as it turns out, Lithgow was also Tim Burton's first choice for the Clown Prince of Crime in his iconic Batman flick from 1989 ... and he stupidly convinced Burton to cast someone else. According to Lithgow, "I have never told anyone this story, but I tried to persuade [Burton] that I was not right for the part and I succeeded. I didn't realize it was such a big deal. About a week later, I heard they were going after Robin Williams and Jack Nicholson. How about that for stupid? Actors are not necessarily smart people."

I love you John but I'm glad we got Jack instead.